Cleanliness
by AntiWritersBlock
Summary: I have no excuses. Levi x Windex. Not a serious one-shot.


Author's Note: Oh lord what have I created. Please don't take this seriously.

'Damn, I need to clean these filthy windows' Levi tsked thinking about the actually small amount of grim emerging on the windows of his new apartment. The apartment was actually very well-organized and clean for a college senior. Some might say it was because he didn't have a pesky roommate to destroy everything. That was partially true. Hanji tried to convince him that they would be good roomies, but he instantly shut them down. He knew what would happen. Hanji was sharing an apartment with Erwin before know. It lasted for about 6, maybe 7 hours. Levi gets chills when he thinks of the horrid conditions Hanji put the small living space in. It was terrifying. So, Hanji would not be sharing an apartment with any of their friends for a long, long time.

Levi was having his pre-cleaning ceremony, sitting on a couch bare of crumbs, drinking Arnold Fister iced tea, and watching re-runs of Hoarder Hogs. The house transformations always made him shudder. He turned on the television, tsking when he saw only two seconds of the show before it went to commercial. He reached for his ice tea, picking it up by the rim. He took a long drink as commercials flew across the screen. Then he heard it. The TV was saying words so magical he spit out his cold beverage.

"MARCO BODT HERE FOR WINDEX! SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR DISGRACEFUL APARTMENT WINDOWS? WELL WINDEX GETS THE JOB DONE. JUST LOOK AT THE STUNNING RESULTS OF THESE REAL CUSTOMERS!" a man with freckles shouted at the top of his lungs, before the screen went to a ginger woman and an older-looking man. The woman and the man talked simultaneously, like they were from the Gleaming, a popular horror movie, "Oh, we just love our Windex. We buy 35 each time we go to the store and we're naming our first child Windex". The commercial then ended, leaving Levi astonished.

Levi was out the door as soon as he turned off the television and made sure he hadn't spilled his precious iced tea. He ran all the way to the nearest FloorStore, bumping into some woman that had an audacious haircut.

"Ma'am," he said frantically, "I NEED you to tell me where the Windex is NOW!" the woman jumped slightly at the volume of his voice. "It's in the cleaning isle…is everything alright?" the horribly scary hairstyle girl questioned. He didn't hesitate. Levi sprinted to the isle the woman pointed to as she spoke of it, shoving her away in the process. There were too many people talking in the isle for his liking. He darted his eyes to the section that was labeled "Window Cleaners". He scanned the shelves with his eyes, but to his dismay, he saw no Windex. He fell to his knees, holding his hands to his face as hot tears streamed down his cheeks as if the Windex sprayed him in the eyes.

He noticed two girls standing by him, as they asked if he was okay. Levi calmed down a bit, "It's, it's just… there's no more Windex in stock. I don't know what to do without my Windex." The girls looked at each other, exchanging glances that asked each other if the poor man was insane and needed help. The shorter of the two spoke first, "We bought some Windex. Maybe we could come over and help you clean your windows?" Levi was so happy, he actually smiled for a mere second. "Levi," he introduced himself. "Lucy," the shorter girl said, shaking his hand. "Summer," the taller of the two added, giving him a small smile. They all made their way to the checkout and placed the items on the conveyer belt. A boy around his teenage years with green eyes and brown hair spoke up behind the register. "Cash or credit?" the boy asked rudely. "Cre-" "Cash," Levi interrupted the taller girl as her blue eyes met his grey ones. "Thanks," she said shyly. The cashier quickly took the money from Levi a bit aggressively. Levi shot him a glare as he rang them up and gave them the bag. "Thanks, brat," Levi said in a monotone voice as he and the girls headed with him to his apartment.

"Thank you again for offering to help me," Levi said appreciatively, bringing out three rags. "You're welcome," Lucy responded. Each of them took a rag and got to work until the place was spotless. "I'm impressed," Levi said, checking the window for any dirt, happy to find none. "Thank you again," he added. "No problem," Lucy said, "Feel free to keep the Windex." He nodded and the girls prepared to leave. "I hope to see you both very soon," he gave them yet another one of his smiles before kissing them both on the cheek. They soon left his house and carried on home.

*** after Summer and Lucy leave***

Levi was finally alone with his precious Windex. Oh how he loved it so. Each day he and the Windex were inseparable. It even got to a point where he would lay with it at night. One day, the Windex bottle had almost run out of its diamond blue cleaning deliciousness. He had only been able to use it once more before all that was left was a single drop. He then put that droplet in a locket, cherishing it for the rest of his life and mourned the death of his beloved each and every dreadful second of his life. He would cry himself to sleep, occasionally even kissing the locket. He had loved Windex cleaner. It was 50% off when he purchased the enchanting window sanitizer. He could remember every chemical on his past lover's label. Not a day would go by where Levi didn't remember the nose hair burning scent of his lover and its beautiful plastic curves. Now, he was alone.

"I will always remember you, my diamond blue beauty."


End file.
